What readers are saying about Transsexual Apostate
Why would anyone want to identify as transgender when they can just be themselves ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I like this line. It’s from Debbie’s book and it’s an excellent point. He talks about having an unusual psychological condition, and that Transsexualism doesn’t define him anymore than his short sightedness does. If everyone thought like this then we can just start treating people as humans and get over this obsession with identity.
It’s a brilliant book and Debbie’s honesty and logical take on gender ideology is a breath of fresh air.
There’s an interesting take on the ‘pronoun ritual’ – how perhaps it’s not as ‘kind’ as people may think it might be…
No matter what side you are on, this is definitely worth a read (or listen as I did – Debbie narrates very well). The epilogue features Stephanie, Debbie’s wife. Stephanie is excellent, honest and relatable. I’m glad she was featured, as too many times, spouses voices are not heard.
Amazon customer review, 15 February 2024
Changed my understanding ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Transgender memoirs have ranged through the worthy plea for acceptance (Shon Faye’s THE TRANSGENDER ISSUE and Elliot Page’s PAGEBOY), the steamy romp (Paris Lees’ WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL), and the incomprehensible (Grace Lavery’s PLEASE MISS and Andrea Long Chu’s FEMALES).
What they have had in common, so far, is reluctance to put the motivation into plain language. Why do some men want to become women, or get medical treatment to approximate their bodies? Is it being “born in the wrong body”? Identifying as the other gender, whatever that means? Or desiring some “universal vagina” (WTF?) as Andrea Long Chu intimates?
In that respect, and others, this book stands out. Prolific journalist and science teacher Debbie Hayton, who transitioned in 2012 and underwent reassignment surgery in 2016, is unafraid to say the truth out loud. For her and most trans women, it is down to a sexual attraction to the thought of oneself as a woman called autogynephilia (AGP), which can appear in men as cross-dressing and can go on to a desire to transition. Where have all the cross-dressers gone, anyway?
Books on autogynephilia are infrequent (Michael Bailey’s 2003 THE MAN WHO WOULD BE QUEEN, Anne Lawrence’s academic 2013 MEN TRAPPED IN MEN’S BODIES) and this is the first such book for a broad audience by an autogynephilic transgender person.
Michael Bailey received threats and stalking from trans activists trying to keep their sexual motivation a secret from the public. In contrast the publication of Transsexual Apostate angered not just trans activists but Debbie Hayton’s former political allies. The gender-critical feminists have now revealed themselves as nearly as intolerant and authoritarian as their enemies. They revile Hayton as a pervert and wish she would shut up. But if AGP is behind the abuses of trans-activism it’s a tactical error to punish those brave enough to be honest and a strategic one to refuse to understand what you are dealing with. It also misses the fact that if it’s widely known AGP is behind much of transgender, the harmful idea children have a “gender identity” cannot stand up.
Those who subscribe to trans ideology or gender-critical feminism have given this book savage reviews, taking quotes out of context (Evening Standard) and rejecting the idea AGP could be innate and not caused by “sissy hypno mind control” (as a gender-critical reviewer claimed). Yet there is no reason AGP couldn’t be innately wired, as heterosexuality and homosexuality are. What the detractors do have in common is a belief in human nature as a blank slate and a horror of male sexuality. Blank-slaters will not like this book.
In the first chapters Debbie Hayton describes the ordeal of sexual reassignment surgery in detail, followed by an account of boyhood tormented by desires to dress in girls’ clothing. Despite marriage and a seemingly normal life the “beach ball rose to the surface” and Hayton was overwhelmed by the urge to transition after discovering the trans internet community. As she transitioned she underwent a series of intellectual transformations – first accepting gender identity as making her “some kind of a woman”, then challenging it to join the gender-critical side when she saw the concept made no sense.
In doing so she got involved in activism and trade union politics, escalating to wearing a shirt saying “Trans Women Are Men: Get Over It!”, which caused internet mobbings and attempts to get her sacked (Ch6). Debbie Hayton had front-row seats to the UK trans wars and describes institutional capture by trans activists in trade unions and the Council of Europe (Ch7 and Ch8). This is set against the background of the fight against the Gender Recognition Act being amended to allow trans self-identification, which was defeated by a coalition of politicians, grass-roots women’s rights activists and free-thinking transsexuals. The way sex, gender and the law interacted in Great Britain is given a lot of discussion and will be a reference for the history of the “TERF wars”.
Under the surface this book fizzes with new thinking that challenges orthodoxies on all sides.
In two key chapters (Ch4 and Ch5) Hayton places her autogynephilia in the context of universal truths about sexuality and identity. Is a lot of the everyday activity and appearance we call gender, more about sexuality than we realise or admit? If what we are seeing in transgender people is a kind of reflection of everyday heterosexuality, how can we single out decent AGPs for “wearing their sexuality”? To demonise AGP neglects harm to men and boys who are struggling with AGP and don’t have words to explain it but are told they are really “women in the wrong body”. For them this book is vital.
She goes on to examine the nature of perception around sex and identity, central to the question at the heart of Western culture wars – “what is a woman?” (Ch5). The conclusion is the warring woke and anti-woke tribes are both missing the point, and neither can win. Everyone is wrong about the real meanings of the words man and woman. This point, which follows from considering how these concepts arose, changed my understanding of the transgender debate.
Hayton is wry about the challenges of the transgender experience and passing (or sometimes not) – “people take me as they find me” – and an epilogue by Debbie’s wife Stephanie completes the book which reminds us of the strain transitioning can place on family. This epilogue is important and discusses how she weathered the disruption to her family and relationship. Doubtless mid-life married men transitioning is a selfish kind of thing to do. Is it more selfish than the common problem of men having a mid-life affair? Stephanie should write her own memoir.
The book is not without flaws. For a memoir I would have liked more pages on family life and a few less about politics. Debbie Hayton should have taken longer to discuss the conflict of childhood transition though she is careful to point out this is a long way from her experiences. The claim she hasn’t faced transphobia from British gender-critical feminists was also shown to be false, to put it mildly, in the week leading to publication.
But it’s not like any other trans memoir, it’s honest and clear about a taboo topic, it stakes out what looks like new intellectual territory, and that is worth the price of admission.
Amazon customer review, 13 February 2024
Fascinating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I got this as an audiobook. It’s a very interesting listen and well read.
Debbie Hayton gets grief from both sides of the gender debate. I don’t know how she remains so calm.
This will get grief too, it doesn’t pull its punches in any arena. A very worthwhile book.
Amazon customer review, 9 February 2024
Debbie Hayton
Physics teacher and trade unionist, originally from the north of England.
As a trans person I have written extensively about what it means to be trans, and how trans people can be accommodated in society without compromising the rights of other vulnerable groups.
Bylines in The Spectator, Unherd, The Times, Daily Mail, Morning Star, Economist, Quillette and elsewhere.
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Debbie Hayton 