What is a woman? That once-simple but now-controversial question divided opinion in the 2024 Paris Olympics, where boxers Imane Khelif and Lin Yu-ting both won gold medals. The International Boxing Federation had previously excluded them from women’s boxing, reportedly because they have XY chromosomes, denoting them as males. But the International Olympic Committee saw things differently. IOC spokesman Mark Adams claimed that, “They are women in their passports and it’s stated that this is the case, that they are female.”
To be clear, this was not a transgender issue. Khelif and Lin are alleged to have an intersex condition — a difference of sexual development. The political stand-off was familiar enough, however. The defenders of biology clustered on one side of the ring, while those guarding the right to self-identify stood in the other. But amidst the emotion and the rhetoric, what are these groups trying to argue?
As a transsexual, I have a personal stake in the ongoing dispute. Though born male, I transitioned at age 44 in 2012 and, after gender reassignment surgery in 2016, there is no going back — certainly not to how things were. I’ve since come to realise that I was never a woman trapped in a man’s body. The truth that I discovered about myself is far more interesting, and it has helped me to understand and explain why neither “Team Biological Sex” nor “Team Gender Identity” can prevail alone. Biological sex does matter. But crucially, the perception of sex, which is just as much a product of our biology, also matters — and in many situations, it matters more.

Both sides make passionate statements about what the word “woman” (and “man”) ought to mean. In recent years, trans activists have persuaded governments and authorities that those words should denote self-declared “gender identity.” I think that’s a mistake, and when I pointed that out in 2017, I was branded a heretic and lost a lot of friends. Meanwhile, those on the other end of the issue in the “gender-critical” camp have made the case that “woman” and “man” should be carefully defined in terms of the reproductive process: chromosomes, gonads, and genitals. For a while, I agreed with them, but I’ve since come to think that they are also wrong and, following that, became a heretic for a second time. But the impact on my life was rather more profound than being ejected from Facebook groups and finding myself blocked on Twitter.
From the fall of 2017, trans activists found out where I worked and complained to my employer. As a teacher, they reasoned that by rejecting the concept of gender identity, I posed a “danger” to trans kids. When my school principal took no action against me, they contacted the city safeguarding officer. Meanwhile, according to tweets that tagged me and the school, we had both been reported to the Teaching Regulation Agency — a government organisation in the UK that has the power to remove us from the teaching profession. Thankfully, my principal stood by me — otherwise my career in teaching (and my livelihood) might have been over.
More recently, gender-critical activists have fired in complaints about me. Their concern is also the impact on children, but for different reasons. I have been accused of parading a “sexual fetish” in the classroom. In their minds, I am a man who derives specific sexual excitement from dressing as a woman. The reality is rather more mundane. Like most other people, I wear the clothes in which I feel comfortable and confident — in my case, usually those marketed at women. But what I happen to be wearing is incidental, as indeed is my transsexualism. What matters in teaching is my ability to teach well and facilitate the effective learning of my students.
The two groups that have taken issue with me both assert what the words “woman” and “man” should mean (in their opinion), but both miss the point because they overlook what goes on in our minds when we use those words.
We were using “man” and “woman” — quite successfully — to label the two types of adult human before gender identity was coined by Robert Stoller and Ralph Greenson in 1963. In fact, we have been using them and their linguistic equivalents since time immemorial, and long before Nettie Stevens discovered sex chromosomes in 1905 or Antonie van Leeuwenhoek first observed spermatozoa in 1677. Rishi Sunak — former British prime minister — came close when he told his party that, “A man is a man and a woman is a woman. That’s just common sense.” Indeed it is, but perhaps not as Sunak imagined. Common (i.e., shared) sense predates our knowledge of biology: it’s a gut feeling, though perhaps “evolved instinct” describes it more scientifically. In fact, species across the animal kingdom can differentiate between their males and females without scientific knowledge — presumably by the same evolved instinct — so why should human beings be any different?
Sex is crucial, but to understand the human condition, we must also consider the perception of sex. In many situations, perception is what really matters, and I do not think we will resolve this polarised and sometimes toxic dispute until that point is accepted and understood. Where the two Olympic boxers are concerned, campaigners who perceived them to be men felt a grave sense of injustice occurring in the boxing ring. When attempts were made to exclude these boxers, those who perceived them to be women responded with outrage. Through the lens of perception, we can appreciate why opinions are so strongly held on both sides.
For most of human history, those perceptions would have arisen from our five senses at close range — when we first meet someone, we identify their sex based on how they look, sound, and, in the most intimate settings, even how they smell and feel. We might not consciously know exactly how we do it, but we all do it.
However, we evolved to do this in person and at close quarters. We have since invented communication at a distance, but our instincts hardly shifted. Evidence can now be second-hand, patchy, and unreliable, but our minds nonetheless wish to call a binary decision — is this a woman or a man? Once that dichotomy is broken, our thoughts become hostage to our feelings.
So, when people use the word “woman”, it’s important to distinguish between “adult human female” and the perception of an adult human female. Almost all the time, those two categories are the same, but the distinction is crucial to understanding the rows like the one over the intersex boxers and passionate debate over what it means to be trans and how trans people should be accommodated in society.
To help explain why perception matters so much, let’s consider something that doesn’t tend to raise strong feelings — the colour yellow. As a physicist, I think that yellow light ought to refer to electromagnetic waves with wavelengths between about 570 and 580 nanometres. We might dispute the precise boundaries, but we can agree that yellow is not blue, red, or green. Those words have meaning — colours cannot choose to identify as another colour. Yet, if you’re reading this on an electronic device, anything on the screen that you perceive to be yellow is actually a mixture of red and green light — modern LCD screens are an array of red, green, and blue subpixels. When those photons of light strike your retinas, your red-, green-, and blue-sensitive cones send the same signals to your brain as they would if they were hit by monochromatic light somewhere around 575 nm.

What we convey when we describe an object as yellow is literally a common sense — a feeling in our heads. And no matter how much I cling to my scientific definition of yellow, any campaign to redefine the word strictly in terms of wavelength is unlikely to succeed. Granted, there are situations where wavelength matters most: for example, growing plants under artificial light. But we can be specific with our language in those situations without redefining the word in others.
This is what many gender-critical or “strictly biology” campaigners miss. Just as with “yellow”, when people use the words “woman” and “man”, they are very often not referring to a biological fact, but to that built-in perception of sex we all share. Acknowledging it might remove some heat from the debate. For example, with the dispute over the boxers — and sports categories in general — we could look beyond the words “man” and “woman.” Those terms refer to how Khelif and Lin are perceived by others. Sports are not divided because of perception, but because one sex has an objective advantage over the other, and sex arises in our chromosomes. Most of us are either XX or XY, and, where sports are concerned, that’s what really matters.
Intersex people can be assessed according to their specific and diagnosable difference of sexual development. It might be that women with CAIS, whose bodies are insensitive to the testosterone produced by their internal testes, could be eligible for women’s sports, while males born with rare genetic conditions like 5-alpha reductase deficiency that may make them appear to be women are not. That latter group — reported to include the runner Caster Semenya — can also be perceived to be female at birth and brought up as girls, but crucially, their bodies respond to testosterone during puberty, and they can therefore develop male advantages. There are a limited number of intersex conditions. Each one can be assessed in turn without depending on who our perceptions might tell us is a woman.

The one group that certainly should be excluded from women’s sports are typical males, and that includes trans women. The reason I transitioned was rather less to do with some ethereal gendered soul, and more to do with my sexuality, my self-image, and how I wanted to be perceived by others. I think that is rather more typical than many male transitioners would care to admit.
Sexuality is usually understood to be attraction to one sex or the other, or both in the case of bisexuality. But sexual attraction is also rooted in perception. People don’t directly sense chromosomes or gametes, nor can they detect anyone else’s internal sense of self. Straight men, for example, might have different preferences, but they are all attracted to the perceptual cues of the female form. That need not be an actual woman. The success of the porn industry is testament to that — computer generated images can produce the excitement of flesh and blood. But generally, the focus of their sexual interest is external to themselves.
If, however, that sexual focus is turned inwards in such a way that a heterosexual man is attracted to the thought of himself as a woman, it’s known as autogynephilia, or AGP. This isn’t as strange as it seems at first glance: sexuality and self-image are related. I’ve experienced AGP firsthand. The problem was that while I am heterosexual and attracted to women, my body was lamentably male. The urge to “transition” into something that better matched my mental image of an attractive female body overwhelmed me. At the same age at which other men’s midlife sex drives lead to extramarital affairs, I transitioned. Perhaps I had my affair with myself?
Admitting, describing, and explaining that truth provoked a frenzied response from erstwhile friends who I suspect fitted the AGP mould. I was accosted in person and cancelled online, which, while unfortunate, was understandable. It’s easy to seek sympathy if your claim is that you’re a woman trapped in a man’s body — saying you transitioned because you were a man who fancied a female image of himself is a much harder sell. Which trans woman wants to admit that? My explanations were therefore unwelcome and furiously denied.
Gender-critical campaigners can be wary of AGP for different reasons. Firstly, when the interactions are purely online, there is no reason for them to perceive me as anything but a man. But then, the thought of men in dresses (which I do wear occasionally) can generate negative emotions. Secondly, autogynephilic males can become parodies of the female form, as evidenced by too many egregious social media posts of AGP males with short skirts, high heels, and way too much makeup.
Whatever the reason that drives an individual to transition, it doesn’t change their sex. But we don’t need to change sex to change the way that we are perceived by other people. Gender transition is therefore a meaningful process. That can be controversial on both sides of the dispute. Trans activists fearful of medical gatekeeping might claim that you don’t need to transition to be trans. Some gender-critical campaigners, on the other hand, dismiss the concept altogether — “you were a man, Debbie, and you are still a man” — and posit that nothing changed. But perceptions — at least in real life — did change, and the repercussions are felt more widely than in the narrow area of sports. Society also divides for toilets and changing rooms. We would not be human if we did not feel differently in the company of women than we do in the company of men. Or more precisely, people whom we perceive to be women and men.
Personally, I don’t use spaces reserved for women because it wouldn’t feel right; however, using men’s spaces would introduce discomfort of another kind. My body really doesn’t look like a man’s these days, so demanding that men accept me as another guy in their spaces misses the point. Our minds evolved to perceive the two different types of bodies humans inhabit, and we react differently to them. Millions of years of evolutionary history have seen to that. The humane case is for (private) third spaces for anyone who prefers not to share communal facilities with their own sex. Trans activists might have been wiser to adopt that campaign from the beginning.

The current trans debate is nasty and sometimes brutal. That’s not surprising when both sides fear their opponents might succeed in redefining woman and man, and consequently the way we relate to each other. The stakes appear to be enormous, but everyone should relax. Reality is not constructed from words. Words might convey our feelings, but those feelings cannot be easily changed — we are stuck with our perception of sex just like we are stuck with our perception of yellow. Attempts from both camps to deny our perception of sex will not succeed.
However, the debate over what it means to be a woman or a man has perhaps served as a good preparation for what might well come next: the debate over what it means to be human. Humanoid robots have long featured in science fiction, and just like C-3PO from Star Wars (1977) was a “man” and T-X from Terminator 3 (2003) was a “woman”, there may one day be androids (“man” robots) and gynoids (“woman” robots) who walk amongst us. This is not a difficult prophecy — men will build them if only to have sex with them. Besides, we already use those words to convey intelligible meanings independently of biological life forms with chromosomes and gametes, like “the woman in my satnav.”
In the present dispute, both sides make unfalsifiable claims about the definition of the words “woman”and “man”, and merely assert what they think those words ought to mean. My claim about perception, on the other hand, will be testable — and falsifiable — by analogy. How will society treat humanoid robots who are widely perceived as male or female?
Robots might never need to use the toilet, but they could need to change their clothes. Would they do that in the street? They are, after all, merely ambulating computers. Or would they use a more private space? It might not bother the robot — that would depend on their programming — but it would probably bother the human beings watching, and that will matter. Further, despite having neither chromosomes nor gender identities, these machines will be referred to consistently by the appropriate pronoun, “he” or “she”, because common sense dictates that a woman is someone whom we perceive to be a woman. That’s what our instincts tell us, and those instincts are beyond ancient and resistant to change.
My argument about why sex and perception of sex both matter will not please either side in the current debate, and that may be all the more reason why it’s needed. Evolution has moulded our minds as well as our bodies. While the charge of denying biological science has rightly been levelled at the more extreme trans activists, those who ignore evolved human psychology in arguments around trans issues might be guilty of a second form of biology denialism. Are they brave enough to consider that they might also be wrong?
By Debbie Hayton
* This article was first published by Queer Majority on 16 June 2025: If Biological Sex Matters, so must Our Perception of Sex.
20 replies on “If Biological Sex Matters, so must Our Perception of Sex”
Very informative, as always, Debbie. You are extremely fortunate to have such a supportive principal and teaching environment. I could be way off the mark here but I assume it is because you are ‘you’ – the teacher and scientist – and do not flaunt the ‘persona’ that alas some trans people do. As you know, this is very off-putting and people then feel pressured one way or another to be for or against. I have been following your articles and posts for a long time and I don’t ‘see’ you as ‘man changed to woman.’ I just see you as the person you are. I am not explaining it very well but, trust me, it’s a good thing.
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Thanks as always for your comments, Fiona.
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I’m sorry you have suffered threats of cancellation and misunderstanding from both sides of the debate, as you see those. It would be great if people could argue, as vehemently as they like, without personal attacks. In that regard, I see we are in accord.
But I have to say I disagree profoundly with much of what you write on this aspect of the ‘trans’ debate, and I’m surprised by your stance. I am, of course, one of those ‘gender-critical’ folk you mention. You say:
You reiterate what you’ve said before, that you’re a sex realist. Nobody changes their sex. So, when you continue,
this seems only to mean, “we can appear to be the opposite sex, or present ambiguous cues to which of the two sexes we are,” which is fairly obvious to all of us sex realists. So far, so good. But this seems to muddy the water:
The first part of this seems to indicate a separation between sex – which you (correct me if I’m wrong) consider binary and immutable – and the classes of individual, “woman” and “man,” which you seem to suggest are social constructs, since there is the potential for redefinition of them. You appear to relate this to our perception of them.
Perhaps you consider “male” and “female” also to be social constructs – as you say, “reality is not constructed from words” – but if so, it does not follow that, “Whatever the reason that drives an individual to transition, it doesn’t change their sex.” Indeed, it very well might: it would simply depend on those pesky words and how we choose to define them. Have I misunderstood and you are not in fact making any such separation? Are you happy to agree that “man” refers to an adult human male, and, as such, is still a man even if he is perceived as a woman (by some people)?
I just don’t get the point of all this both-sidesing, or fence-sitting, other than to guess that it is your (in my view, misguided) attempt to create better relations between the gender warring sides.
My side is distinctly NOT trying to deny the perception of sex, as you assert at the end of that passage. It’s obvious that people can look like, or pretend to be, the opposite sex, for whatever reason. No gender critical person I know has ever given the slightest hint they didn’t know that. I also simply reject the idea that our side is trying to redefine the words, “man” and “woman” – those have been in common use for centuries, millennia, and it is common sense to retain them as they always were.
You might argue that what we called men and women centuries ago, or even now, was based on perception, not biology, but that does not mean that the defnitions are wrong: it means that our perceptions sometimes are. My goodness, as a physicist, that should be trivially obvious.
Your analogy with colour actually supports this, as does any number of analogies. There are well-known optical illusions, as you will know, in which colours appear to be entirely different from what they are objectively. If we see something that looks yellow, but the trick is revealed, we do not argue that is was, in fact, yellow before, because perception of colour is paramount. We do not complain about people trying to “deny the perception of” colour. In your very interesting point about what our perception of yellow actually consists of, you clarify subtle differences between the perception and various objective realities. Hence, a computer engineer needs to know that she’s dealing with red and green pixels, not yellow ones, like a doctor needs to know what sex someone is, not go merely on what they look like. Why? Because objective reality trumps perception. It’s why we developed science!
You say:
But you have just demonstrated that we are not “stuck with” our perception of yellow – we can understand it more objectively, and so what if our feelings can’t easily be changed? If you want to demand that “yellow” refers ONLY to our perception, because we name it such, you’ll be in a bind, because you’ll never gain knowledge of its actuality (just as if you demand that “man” is a perception, you’ll never understand what that class even means).
Subjectivity is dangerous – unless you relate it to reality, it’s just circular waffle. Queer theory nonsense.
Words can convey our feelings, as you say, but they’re so much more valuable when they convey facts. And ultimately facts are really good arbiters of arguments, and therefore great for peace-making. We just have to argue and demonstrate until we see the same facts; then there’s nothing to argue about.
I wouldn’t bother too much with all this if I didn’t think it was important, and your next analogy clearly demonstrates (IMHO) one of the dangers of this muddled thinking:
I sincerely hope that when that issue becomes even more troublesome than it already is, we retain the established, commonsense definition! We can, of course, discuss whether robots are conscious, or whether they deserve certain rights, or how we perceive them, but they’re not and never will be human. We might imagine such a subtle mish-mash of human and tech that we begin to wonder: is this entity human or robot? But it will simply be a hybrid, not purely human, not entirely machine.
“What it means to be human” can’t just be taken in the fluffy sense of “who/what shall we be nice to?” because that is not what “human” means. We have other words for being kind. Similarly, calling a trans woman – in any serious sense – a woman is simply irrational, but we can all decide (in trivial situations, not legally important ones) how we balance the competing virtues. Shall I be rational, or kind?
And we should always be aware that what we imagine is kind can just be expedient, get us through the awkward moment, make us feel like a good person, while causing difficulties we don’t think about. In the long run, I think it’s kinder to be rational.
I wonder if there’s another reason you’re fence-sitting than just to cool the debate. If you take the hard scientific line (truly gender critical in the ‘thinking hard’ sense), I imagine you must feel some personal threat or difficulty. Perhaps you emphasize how important perception is because of your desire to be perceived as a woman, despite this being an attempt to create cognitive error in others, the misperception of your sex. Or maybe that’s all wrong. It could be your perception of yourself that is more important to you. I don’t know – I just know I’m puzzled by all this self-contradiction.
As always, I am deeply grateful for your courage in sharing your experiences and your perspective.
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Thanks so much for your considered comments. It’s great to disagree because it leads to analysis and further understanding. If it helps, I don’t like my arguments and conclusions either. I think ‘man’ and ‘woman’ ought to mean adult male human and adult female human respectively. I emphasised the word ‘ought’, however, because I don’t think that’s what people mean when they use the words. Not directly, anyway. My hypothesis is that trying to define the words strictly in terms of reproductive biology will end in failure just like defining them in terms of gender identies was a failure.
For example, if a woman transitions meaningfully then other women will react to her in the same way that they react to men. If the law tries to demand otherwise (and defy ‘common sense’) then the law will become an ass. The Supreme Court understood that point in paragraph 221 of FWS v Scottish Ministers. I’ve experienced the reverse situation personally. A cleaner once blocked my way into the men’s (where she was working) and refused to hear my arguments. Even if she read me as trans, she clearly felt so uncomfortable that she stopped her work to direct me elsewhere. I don’t think any laws will stop people feeling the way they do in situations like that. Just like the law can’t demand people be happy when they feel downright miserable. These are emotions that I argue are evolved into us.
As a scientist, I make preditions to test my hypothesis. That’s what I’ve done in this piece. The future will be the judge and if I am wrong then I will know that I am wrong.
Picking up on one or two specific points,
• I don’t think ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are social constructs. I think that sex perception is an evolved instict that we share with other species. For example my cat could tell the difference between male cats and female cats. She had no knowledge of biology but it was important from an evolutionary perspective that she could use her senses to perceive the sexual cues given off by other cats.
• I don’t think that the yellow on my computer screen is an optical illusion – despite the fact that it is made up of red and green subpixels. It is yellow because human beings experience yellow as the light that stimulates our red- and green- and blue- cones in certain proportions. As a physicist I think yellow ought to mean wavelengths around 580 nm, but it would be a fools errand to legislate against manufacturers describing red-green mixtures as yellow light. Or selling yellow paint (which is actually nothing of the sort).
• Robots are not human, but if we perceive them to be human then (in some situations at least) we will treat them in the same way as humans and the law will need to acknowledge that for the wider good. In the two-dimensional world on our screens that’s aready the case. For example, it is illegal to use AI to generate indecent images of children even if no actual children were involved in the production of the material. I support that extension of the law. As robotics improves, my hypothesis is that laws will also extend to three-dimensional perambulating machines. As an example, in this piece I suggested that it will be unacceptable for a robot to disrobe in the street should they need to change their clothes. Not for the sake of the robot, but for the human onlookers. Meanwhile my cat used to prowl the street naked apart from her fur – because everyone perceived her to be not human.
I don’t feel threatened by any of this, by the way. I don’t use facilities reserved for the other sex while I live in a society that promotes equality of opportunity for both sexes, so I feel as secure as I could be. But as a scientist, I can’t help myself from trying to understand the world around me. I think people are rather more than intelligencies being ferried around by bodies – I think we are our bodies, but that is a much wider issue. For now I’ve made some hypotheses and I will leave it to the future to decide whether I am correct or not.
Once again, I really appreciate your contributions.
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Thanks for reading my long critique, and for your thoughtful reply, Debbie. I try to be brief, but usually fail. Thank you for your patience.
I am recognising more clearly what I think is so different in our understanding of this issue. What surprises me is that you talk about the definition of “woman” and “man” in a way that is more democratic than I think is reasonable. Your predictions are about how society will treat humanoid robots, and you say your hypothesis will be supported – presumably – if we treat them according to how we perceive them.
One problem with this is that “we” denotes a plurality, and people perceive things very differently. So it seems any assessment of the ‘result’ of this prediction must depend on some judgement of numbers and quantities, with all the usual dependence on confidence, acceptable error, and the particularities of the questions being investigated. Even the question of how “human” a robot appears to be is riddled with subjectivities.
But, more centrally, in considering this scientific attempt at clarity, I am still baffled by what it is you’re trying to clarify, other than, “how people perceive X”. This is sociology, which is why posited that maybe you saw the definitions of “man” and “woman” as social constructs.
I understand your reply,
but sex perception is different from the claim that particular labels are shown to be correct by what essentially amounts to a poll. As I said a long time ago, our evolved instinct (which I agree is what it is) can be fooled, so it’s not reliable. I’ve draped a lamb with the skin of another to fool its mother that it’s her offspring. Similarly, we all act like walls are solid, because we perceive them to be, while we know they’re mostly empty space. Whatever the underlying reality might be – which we can only penetrate fallibly – trumps perceptions, or we’re lost in subjective ignorance.
Unfortunately, I cannot easily penetrate your thoughts on this further, because – as I said – they are so full of self-contradiction, which I know you are wise enough to recognise as a red flag. I am glad you admit that you’re not happy with your conclusions either, and encourage you to keep thinking about the clashes.
I’ll try to stimulate that with this. Having now said,
you earlier wrote,
I would suggest that they’re not necessarily making unfalsifiable claims about the definitions, in any absolute sense, but, like you, arguing what those words should mean. And key to this is separating those words – whatever we decide they should mean – from all the political complexities of separation of the sexes, exceptions for certain cases, etc.
You continue,
but this is no different from assessing how many people think “men” means “adult human males”, right now, and using the same statistical analysis to conclude that claim has been supported or falsified.
I have to acknowledge reluctantly that I believe the definitions of all words are social constructs (reluctantly, because the idea is taken to ridiculous extremes for political ends). I also argue on the basis of oughts, not ises. And the man=male correspondence is so clearly sensible to me that I find it odd to suggest putting a wedge in there, and that’s what you seem to be doing. You seem to be entirely clear that “male” is a biological category, while you equivocate about “man”, putting the question to the people’s perception!
If we do that, we end up with “Some men may be female, and some women might be male,” and we’re not finding happy middle ground, we’re conceding the game to the gender ideologues, because they can always argue that their man-ness or woman-ness depends on how they perceive themselves. I mean, why should they be ruled by the view of the majority?
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Thanks. Please forgive me for not addressing every point you make. I want to pick up on one and leave you with another.
Some women are male. Individuals with 46,XY CAIS are biologially male. They have XY chromosomes and (internal) testes that produce testosterone. Nevertheless they are women, and that is because they are routinely percieved to be women by everyone else and indeed themselves. Some CAIS women don’t even know their condition until they find they do not menstruate.
The argument that they are women because they have a so-called female gender identity is unfalsifiable. But so is the argument that they are men because they are biologically male. It’s another claim that cannot be falsified. My claim that they are women because they are perceived to be women is falsifiable the moment they walk down the street and survey the passers-by.
I’m coming at this differently to those who rely on arguments to support their claims. I’m making hypotheses that I am leaving to the future to test. I will know if I am wrong when people do not instinctively use ‘he’ and ‘she’ to refer to humanoid robots they perceive to be male or female. From what I have seen on the movie screen, they will not even need to be a good likeness. What pronouns does everyone use for R2D2? Good luck trying to insist they they use ‘it’ pronouns because R2D2 is a dustbin-shaped machine.
Perception is vital. Now the point I want to leave you with. Assuming you are reading this comment on a screen, are you happy with me describing the yellow rectangle that I inserted into the piece as a yellow rectangle?
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Thanks for clarifying.
We simply disagree on the definition of ‘man’ and ‘woman’. It makes more sense to me to maintain constancy between ‘male’ and ‘man’ / ‘female’ and ‘woman’. This means that indeed there are males who superficially look like females, which is the same as saying they are men/boys who look like women/girls. If they are distressed by the reality when it is discovered that they are male, not female, that is not made worse by it also being a recognition that they are men rather than women. To most of the human race, the two types of term mean the same thing.
And I say “superficially” above, because that is what it is, superficial looks. Surface stuff (including body shape, of course). Check what their bodies are attempting to do (or would be doing were it not for their genetic difference) and it’s clear they are male (as you recognise), since their development is (imperfectly) organised around the production of small gametes. Almost all those with CAIS have no female sexual organs, and their external genitalia are closed vaginas without cervix or uterus. They have non-functional testes. But you don’t dispute any of that, you just base your definition of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ on the subjective idea of how most people might perceive a person.
This is irrational, or at best confusing, because if you asked these people doing the perceiving: “Is this person male or female?” and “Are they a man or woman?” their answers would conform. Nobody, I suggest, would ‘read’ a male with CAIS and say they’re ‘male’, if they also read them as ‘a woman’.
But it’s also just plain weird. You say you are commonly seen as a woman, and you present as a woman. Yet you say you’re male. So there’s no need to drag DSDs into it – the same kind of outlier the gender ideologues use – you could just argue that YOU are actually a woman. “Trans women are women if they pass well enough,” you seem to suggest, is a scientific, falsifiable hypothesis. It’s not, it’s just a subjective definition of a word, like all words are subjectively defined by all of us. Most of us, however, try to retain some consistency and reasonableness in theirs. A male woman is inconsistent and unreasonable, in my humble opinion. I can understand that you have a strong desire to think of yourself as a woman, despite acknowledging your binary, immutable maleness. I’m sorry, but to me – and anyone who knows you’re male – you’re a man, an adult human male. Ask around. Do an experiment.
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I think we agree on what we think the definitions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ ought to mean – ‘adult male human’ and ‘adult female human’. However, I don’t think that’s what people actually mean when they use the words. They are referring to an evolved instict that we have inherited, and it’s not something we are going to change. That’s my hypothesis and my piece explains how to test it.
When humanoid robots walk among us, people will refer to them by the pronouns ‘he’ or ‘she’ even though they know that they are walking machines, because ‘he’ and ‘she’ will be mutually intelligible descriptions based not on reproductive biology, but on our evolved instincts. Common sense, in other words. If I am wrong then I will know that I am wrong because those robots will be referred to as ‘it’ and people will respond to androids and gynoids in the same way.
Whenever I do an experiment I am routinely directed to the women’s toilets. The last time was less than three months ago when I was working on another site where I was unfamiliar with the location of the staff toilets. There were no ‘third space’ that I could see so I decided to attend to matters later in the day.
CAIS women have fully functional testes that produce testosterone. My argument is that they are women because they are perceived to be women and it would be absurd to describe them otherwise. I disagree most strongly with some arguments from ‘GC’ commentators that they should be treated as men.
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Yes, CAIS men’s testes often are functional in their production of testosterone, as you said. But they are generally non-functional in the sexual function.
This was merely to point out that the body was organised to produce testes and sperm, not ovaries and ova, while accepting that these males are almost always infertile. Testes and ovaries are developed from the same cells, so only develop into one or the other. The pertinent point was that any developmentally female appearances of those with CAIS are ALWAYS non-functional.
That’s why they qualify scientifically as male, and therefore, in my view, boys or men, never girls or women (though of course they are regularly thought to be girls until around puberty, because people are fooled by appearances). That follows the scientific definition of the sexes, and the usual, understanding that ‘men’ are male and ‘women’ are female.
I see you have dodged my blunt suggestion of what the corollary of your argument is, other than to talk about people directing you to the women’s toilets. You seem good at these little hints that you’re a woman because people think you’re a woman. That’s what you are driving at, though. They call you ‘Madam’ at passport control.
What you appear to overlook is that people have an evolved instinct to be kind and not offend, partly because it is potentially dangerous to insult other people. For example, I, for a long time, used female pronouns to refer to you – not because I think you’re a woman, but because I couldn’t bring myself to risk being unkind.
Some months ago, however, I found my inconsistency uncomfortable. I was using correct sexed pronouns for the annoying ideologues (‘misgendering’ them), but giving people like you, whom I saw trying to slow the trans train, I thought, the honourable cross-gender ones, and I couldn’t square that. I decided to correctly gender everyone if I know what sex they are.
Our evolved instinct is to know what SEX people are; that’s why we puzzle over the outliers (natural genetic ones or self-identified ones) so much, even while we’re trying to be as kind as we can. What sex we are is coincidentally the same as how people appear, for the most part. You emphasize the appearance and ignore the purpose of the instinct – for procreative and protective purposes. One could argue that we don’t need to figure out whether someone we meet is a potential mate or threat in the modern age, but – as you argue – instincts can’t just be overturned by saying it.
I would hate this frank response to undermine my admiration for much of the work you have been doing. On the other hand, I feel I have identified you now as a gender ideologue, on the other side of the debate, because, despite knowing you’re male, you think (apparently) that you’re a woman. You don’t do this on the basis of an internal gender identity – or so you say – but on how people guide you to the women’s toilets. I suspect, however, all these experiences, and your imagination, form the self-image as a woman, and I find that, at best, disturbing. I’m not sure it doesn’t qualify, in fact, as a gender identity.
I think I explained adequately about colour perception. We could ask all sorts of silly questions about appearances. Do I call the direction towards the earth “down”? Does that disprove that all directions are relative to our frame of reference? No. Do I use a different word for accellerating in the car than I use for the feeling of gravity? No. Does this prove Einstein wrong? No. We use words in different ways, and you can define them however you like. It just helps, socially, if we avoid our personal desires overturning accepted definitions. To my mind, insisting there are male women and female men undermines all your other arguments. It is you, not I, who is trying to redefine words.
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I think we are talking at cross purposes. You are making a claim about what the words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ ought to mean and then constructing an argument to support that claim. I am making a hypothesis about what people actually mean when they use the words ‘man’ and ‘woman’, and then proposing ways of testing that hypothesis by future experiment.
Probably we have taken this as far as we can but I will leave you with one question to ponder: how would you know if you were wrong?
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Comments can get mixed up, so I’ll quote your latest:
In a sense, yes, I am claiming what those words ‘ought’ to mean, if you like. I’m claiming they should mean what they already freaking mean.
I am claiming – as I already said several times – that words are defined socially. Perhaps this is a main sticking point. They don’t come to us from the universe itself, and therefore their definitions can’t be abstracted by scientific experiment. If you want to know the meaning of any word, you’ll find it encapsulated in other words.
My argument is that ‘man’ and ‘woman’ have established historical meanings that conform with ‘male’ and ‘female’ respectively. You claim that people with this view are ‘trying to redefine the words’, but to redefine would mean changing them from the established meanings almost everyone accepts.
Do you not realise how unusual the formula, ‘male woman’ is (other than from those who are so confused about gender that they think people can change sex)? You don’t think people can change sex, but you think that people who pass sufficiently well ought to be called the names we traditionally use for the opposite sex, and never mind the confusion it causes to reverse the established correspondence!
You do that, it is increasingly clear to me, because your AGP blinds you to how mad this is. Your head knows you’re male, but you can’t bear to be thought of as a man. Linguistic sophistry to save your gender identity from challenge. It’s increasingly clear by the fact that you refuse to address this challenge as I edge towards more and more brutal descriptions of it.
Again, you are fooling yourself that there’s an empirical test for the definition of ‘man’ and ‘woman’. There isn’t such an empirical test. I’m not arguing that I’m right in any objective sense. I am simply pointing out that, to any normal person, ‘male’ describes only men and boys, and only men and boys take the adjective, ‘male’, because those are the words we use in English. YOU are trying to redefine them, quite obviously, while you project this attempt onto ‘gender critical people’.
As I said right at the beginning, if your projected experiment turned out to support your hypothesis, that hypothesis merely states ‘many people will judge objects in their environment by appearances, and give them words that seem to fit’. But if some of those objects have been disguised as something else, your test won’t pick up any REAL difference between those about whom people are mistaken and those they have judged correctly.
Furthermore, if those people are given correct scientific definitions of the sexes, and investigate each of their subjects to the required detail, their sex will be revealed, and normal English users will then be likely to switch. If you, for example, passed magnifiently to 100% of people we asked, and they confidently identified you as ‘a woman’ (and, by the way, they would agree, ‘female’), and then they investigated to the required depth to find the reality, not only would they correct themselves and say, “Ah, no, he is male, after all,” they would naturally conclude that, as an adult example of a human male, you’re a man.
Because those are how we use the words. Unless someone redefines them.
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This is a really interesting article which I’ve only just finished reading and therefore I’m still in the process of mentally digesting. I think it raises many questions, but just for now: you reach for the argument about evolutionary psychology influencing our perception of men and women, but would your argument change if it was acknowledged that perception of male and female is a learned thing (babies aren’t born with it, just as they’re not born to discriminate between races)? And don’t you think it’s likely that we’ll have all sorts of robots – some identifying and being perceived as human, some identifying and being perceived as animals, and therefore very likely that we’ll have non-binary robots who want to be referred to as they?
Thank you for your writing though. As a clinical psychologist, I really appreciate reading your take on these matters.
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Dear Penny,
Thank you so much for your considered comments. They made me think!
It would certainly change my claim if I thought that sex recognition was a learned thing. However, I think it’s innate. Firstly it seems to be universal among human beings – we can all do it. If it was a learned behaviour then there would be some cultures and individuals who were not taught it. Furthermore, if we don’t learn which sex to be attracted to, then it follows that we don’t learn to perceive the cues and signals exhibited by each sex.
Race is something that is specific to humans (and arguably arbitrary) whereas sex is shared with most of nature (and not arbitrary). Other species seem to be able to distinguish the male and female of their kind so it seems reasonable that human beings share the same evolved instinct.
As well as sex perception I’d argue that we all share the perception of what is human and what is not. Again, there are good evolutionary reasons for that. It’s also a binary perception that we all seem to do in the same way. We don’t talk about gorilla women or chimpanzee women, but we do talk about Klingon women.
As for robots, I think we will build them to resemble men and women just like the AI generated voices sound like they are coming from men and women and we all know which is which. For example, the two voices generated by Google Notebook LM who discuss this piece. But the ‘sexing’ of robots is a hypothesis to be tested. If I am wrong then – assuming I am still around – I will know that I am wrong.
I’d not considered animal robots before. That raises even more issues. I can foresee a market for them. Why train a puppy that will eventually die when you can buy a robot dog that behaves in the same way, but can be switched off when you don’t want it around? Will those robots speak? There is no reason why not and, if so, will we perceive them to be speaking animals or humans in animal form. I suspect the latter from growing up on a diet of the likes of Sooty and Sweep, the Wombles and Rupert Bear.
That’s another hypothesis for future testing.
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I’m sorry to be blunt but just because some peoples understanding of sex has changed doesn’t mean that everyone else has to follow suit. The only reason there are people who can philosophise over what sex means and what side they are on is because regular straight people produced them. Give us some credit.
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I don’t think our understanding of sex has changed. It’s a gut-feeling instinct. We all know the difference between men and women, and we always have done since time immemorial. Any attempts to impose new definitions of the words will not change our instincts. That’s my hypothesis, anyway.
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I tried responding to your latest comment, Debbie, but unusually it didn’t show up, as far as I can see. Maybe this one will.
You’re right, we are talking at cross purposes, and, having re-read the thread, it’s because you’re not reading or understanding my comments (while I am repeatedly trying to check the meaning of yours, which you ignore). The answers are all there to anything you’ve challenged me with, including how I would know if I’m wrong.
Definitions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ don’t have right or wrong answers (as I stated, this is true of all words). Their definitions are established, traditional, reasonable and well-understood; they conform to ‘male’ and ‘female’ respectively. And yet all you’ve done is rant about people on either side of the fence you’re sitting on “trying to redefine” them. You’re the one inventing the weird neologism of a ‘male woman’, and it’s plain to see why.
And despite all your arguing against gender ideology, the only people I can imagine accepting ‘male woman’ or ‘female man’ are those who believe in gender identities and the mutability of sex. Some still retain the correspondence – trans-identified males routinely insist they’re ‘female’ as well as ‘women’, but some are aware enough of biology to take your stance – they accept they’re male (biologically) but women by the all-important gender identity. I’ve never heard any “GC person” (sex-realist) mix and match like you do. But we’re not reinventing anything, just using English as it’s been used for a very very long time.
You’re a man (according to plain English usage, not redefined, nor provable or disprovable), and how many people perceive you as a woman won’t change that. If you wrap Moby-Dick in the dust sleeve of Anne of Green Gables, it’s still Moby-Dick, and asking people what they think it is by looking at it without opening it is just a dumb psychology experiment. It tells you nothing about the contents.
Obviously, there’s a related issue about access to various spaces, but you’re not making that point. I’m perfectly happy to consider that some men might be better using the women’s loo (or vice versa). I see no reason to abuse the English language and confuse people by having to designate them a woman to convey that. If a very short adult is invited to play footie with the kids, we don’t have to start calling him a child, nor do we let very tall, mature-looking 14-year-olds take driving tests.
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I agree that ‘man’ and ‘woman’ ought to mean ‘adult male human’ and ‘adult female human’.
But I don’t think that’s what people mean when they use the terms. I think they are referring to an evolved instict that we share with each other (and, indeed, other species). That is a hypothesis and I have proposed methods to test that hypothesis.
If it helps, I don’t like this hypothesis either. But if I am right it will explain why neither side of the debate will prevail, and why it provokes such strong feelings.
Thank you for your lengthy comments. They make me think but I apologise for not having the time to respond to your points in detail.
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I’m embarrassed to still be discussing this with you. I’m not bothered that you’re not responding to every point, just amazed that you’re still refusing to respond to any pertinent ones, and repeating the same overview of your position.
I don’t know how you square your ‘hypothesis’ with what I saw – literally just now – in my inbox, the first sentence of your next piece here:
I must be misunderstanding something you’ve said, or you are failing to notice the cognitive dissonance between your statements.
Ironically, I was going to bring up the SC judgement a while ago, but thought you might respond that it is confined to the meaning of ‘man’, ‘woman’, and ‘sex’ only in relation to the Equalities Act, which would be perfectly reasonable on the face of it. But here you are in your next piece specifically using the word ‘woman’ – not ‘female’ – as being defined by a person’s ‘biology’.
It’s not for me to figure out how these fit together, nor do you really have to explain it to anyone. I’m just a sucker for things I can’t figure out, at least on subjects that fascinate me, and we are both supposed to be critical thinkers, which means ironing out clashes in our own beliefs and having some investment in helping others iron theirs out, for better understanding and a saner society.
Never mind ‘the Americans’ – can somebody tell you? Apparently not. Can you answer some simple questions? Do you consider yourself ‘a woman’? Is that because people treat you as one in certain ways? Or is it because you believe you have altered your body significantly enough to qualify as a woman biologically? If the latter, why do you still say you’re ‘male’? If not, why did you just write that people are mad for not knowing that ‘woman’ is a biological category?
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I do not consider myself to be a woman because I do not perceive myself to be a woman.
My hypothesis is not a claim of what I think should be true, but a statement of what people actually mean when they use the words ‘man’ and ‘woman’.
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[…] Other writers have rubbished gender identity, while AGP has been widely examined. I went on to argue that that our perception of other people’s sex underpins the whole debate, and it is the key to understanding what is going on. In the last of the three selected pieces – published more recently in July 2025 – I explored the outworking of perception in relationships between people and society as a whole. If biological sex matters, so must our perception of sex. […]
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