My name is Debbie Hayton and I am an evangelical Christian. It is perhaps a sad indictment of our society that I feel more vulnerable talking about my faith than about my transsexualism, but here we are.
I’ve also been far more public with my thoughts about gender ideology than my theology over the past few years. We have been through a shocking crisis, where gender non-conforming children have been sold a fantasy, labelled with a mystical gender identity, and perhaps medicalised as a result.
Meanwhile women’s boundaries have been trampled and LGB people have faced vitriol for having the audacity to organise by themselves. It’s hard to see any good coming from the intersectional monstrosity that pulled in anyone with unusual sexual interests under the burgeoning LGBTQQIAAP umbrella. Transsexuals have suffered with everyone else.
In the past, rather remarkable privileges were granted to people who were routinely perceived to be the opposite sex, including the right to be treated by the law as the opposite sex. But acceptance seems to have been replaced by suspicion now that those rights are open to anyone who wants to abuse them.
I struggle therefore when churches make a point of telling the world how inclusive they are, fly the progress pride flag and make a special issue out of ‘sexual orientation and gender identity’. The Bible has little to say about homosexuality, and nothing at all about gender identity. But it does talk rather a lot about love: God’s love for us and how we should respond. At the Last Supper, Jesus said, ‘A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.’ (John 13:34 NIV)
God loves us not because we are part of some identity group but for who we are. When Paul wrote to the Corinthians about unity and diversity, he didn’t mention the protected characteristics, but instead listed the different gifts and talents and the need for everyone to work together to build the church, ‘so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other’ (1 Cor 12:25 NIV).
But while there is one church, there can be space for those who share interests or characteristics to organise with in it. I was encouraged to hear about the launch of LGB Christians last year, and you have my support and best wishes. As a trans Christian I have enjoyed fellowship with other trans Christians; sometimes it helps to get together with others who face similar issues. Rightly there can be a time and space for T without the LGB, and so there should be a place for the LGB without the T. Neither group should be seen as exclusionary, just as a broader LGBT group is not exclusionary. If, that is, those associations serve to refresh and edify individuals to serve in our wider calling – to our neighbours, our society, our church and to God.
Within the Church, inclusivity should come as a given – the ‘holy catholic church’ of the Apostle’s Creed derives from the Greek “kath’ holos”, which means ‘pertaining to the whole’. Sadly the church has too often become ground down in debates over sexuality and gender identity that at times seem to have become bigger than our greater calling to know Christ and make him known. These issues certainly need to be discussed.
To understand ourselves and our relationship with God, we need to develop our knowledge and understanding – and in the context of what the Bible has to say. But this needs to be done in a way that respects us as whole people – there is far more to us all than sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s healthier that way, or it was for me as a transsexual evangelical Christian. For a while, I obsessed over gender and my mental health deteriorated.
When I acknowledged the fuller truth of who I am, in all its weirdness, wonderfulness, wants and weaknesses, I was finally free to be me. I do not wave a trans flag, and I certainly do not wear a pronoun badge. Nobody expects more of me, or less of me than they did before I transitioned 12 years ago. I’m happy to talk about my transsexualism when questions are asked, but that does not happen often. Most people have their own issues to contend with and Sunday mornings are not just about me. There is a church to build, a world to serve and a God to worship.
Debbie Hayton is a secondary school science teacher, journalist and author. Her book, Transsexual Apostate – My Journey Back to Reality is published by Forum. She writes regularly for Unherd and The Spectator attends a local church in Bristol. Read more about Debbie in the Church Times.
Q & A
Q. Tell us a little more about yourself, Debbie
A. I’m married with three children who are now all grown up. However, when I transitioned in 2012 they were all living at home and attending local schools. It was a difficult time for us as a family. My wife, Stephanie, was pivotal in keeping everything together. At the time I was in a state of poor mental health, not that I realised. As a teacher, I was busy at work which gave me a focus that did not revolve around transitioning. We have since relocated as a family to Bristol and I still teach part time.
Q. If you teach part time, what else do you do to fill up your time?
A. Quite a lot! My life is varied. I am currently a workplace representative for my union, NASUWT – a role where I find myself supporting my colleagues and advocating for them. I’ve had many roles in the union over the years. I’ve sat on the National Executive and represented NASUWT at the TUC. More of my time these days goes into a small business that I run where I offer advice to other schools about curriculum and timetable. Meanwhile I have been writing regularly for the press since 2016. My focus is transgender issues. I do also write about education but the transgender debate has thrown up enough opportunities to keep me very busy
Q. Why did you transition back in 2012?
A. Because I thought I was some kind of woman. But I’ve changed my mind since then. Women are female while I am male. Female is not male so I am not a woman.
Q. So does that mean you have detransitioned?
A. Hardly, the changes that I made to my body are irreversible. What is done, is done. And in real life at least, people tend to perceive me to be a woman so I tread a middle path. I have the freedom to present myself in a way that helps me to feel attractive and therefore confident, but I do not claim the rights of women. I respect their boundaries and I stay out of their spaces.
Q. Sounds fascinating. How can we find out more?
A. My book, Transsexual Apostate: My Journey Back to Reality was published earlier this year. It’s available from Amazon and other booksellers.
This piece and the Q&As that followed were first published by LGB Christians on 27 May 2024: Exclusive: Debbie Hayton’s testimony.
Debbie Hayton 
5 replies on “Debbie Hayton’s testimony for LGB Christians”
In your fourth paragraph, you have one too many “abouts”, and in your second Q&A, you write “have” when you meant “had.” I’m only telling you this because you are probably a perfectionist and would want to fix them.
Your comments on religion are interesting. I think I understand how you feel. I believe in God too, but my concept of God is very un-Christian. You seem to be saying that we all need to get along and not dislike each other for our minor differences. It’s a good idea, certainly, but hard to implement.
I believe we are part of God, kind of like cells in God’s body. I see God as my highest self. God loves us because God has self-love, and God’s self-love includes us. But God also sees us as individuals within him, and he respects our individuality.
I just had a hair-raising experience which I want to share (if you don’t mind). I have mentioned in the past a poetry editor who won’t take my poems because we disagree on the transgender issue. Tonight, however, we were exchanging notes about something else and we resumed discussing the issue. In an effort to reach him, I said this:
“The standards of society must be based on reality. This is reality: (1) Human beings are physical creatures. (2) A man is a person with a male reproductive system. (3) A man who feels like a woman is a man who feels like a woman, and nothing more. Now, society should accept men who feel like women (and vice versa); but pretending that they are real women is a step too far. When you accept that trans women are real women, you are entering into La La Land.”
Now, perhaps I shouldn’t have said “La La Land” — I said it because I felt it made my point very well. In any event, he wrote back, disagreeing with (3) — and then he became vulgar and abusive, calling me all sorts of names. We exchanged a few more notes in which I remained civil, and he continued to heap abuse one me, calling me names and using swear words and even making a threat. And then he sent me an ugly limerick that he wrote about me! And this is a fellow who loves poetry and writes serious poetry himself!
I think you can see the difficulties that we face in getting along.
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So Caleb is this editor trans or does he just imagine he knows how trans people feel? I find it odd that a lot of activists take a side without any actual experience to draw on
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Sorry that I didn’t see your comment sooner. No, he is not trans. He is just the type of liberal who always sides with the underdog and the “downtrodden”. He seems to be willing to accept all of their bad ideas. Trans activists, as we know, believe that in order to accept them into society, we must accept all of their bad ideas. He is willing to do that, while I am not. What surprised me the most was that I said that men who feel like women should be accepted into society, but that’s not enough for him. For no other reason than that I told him that I don’t accept trans women as real women, he said that I “make him sick”.
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So Caleb is this editor trans or does he just imagine he knows how trans people feel? I find it odd that a lot of activists take a side without any actual experience to draw on
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Thanks for your comments, and for spotting the errors in tthe English. I have corrected them
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